Judge Holden vs Makima (2024)

Introduction[]

Billy: Control. A concept that can give an individual a lot of power. It can be used for good and evil but these two individuals aren't really the kindest in their respective media.

Bob: Like Judge Holden, the supernatural scalp hunter from the Wild West.

Billy: And Makima, the Control Devil of Japan.

Bob: He's Billy and I'm Bob, a bunch of generic randos!

Billy: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a DEATH BATTLE!

Judge Holden says that he will never DIE in this DEATH BATTLE![]

Billy: The Wild West, a land of freedom, mystery, and vastness. The Western part of the US is a great inspiration in today's media. For example, Red Dead Redemption 2, A Fistful of Dollars, and Rango.

Bob: But when the genre gets so popular, there's bound to be darker pieces of media in it. For example, Blood Meridian, a novel written by Cormac Mc Carthy. To sum this lengthy book up, it revolves around a teenage runaway joining a gang and his adventures joining said gang. One of those members is the aforementioned Judge Holden.

Billy: Now, The Judge is an enigmatic character. He's a 7-foot behemoth of a scalp hunter with pale white skin with brute strength who's also really darn fast and agile. When he's not committing human atrocities, he spends his free time drawing wildlife and playing the fiddle. But despite all of this, he's very intelligent in pretty much every field of education and can speak pretty much any language.

Bob: And speaking of well, speaking, his speech can corrupt the hearts of even the purest of men. The greatest example of this is when he accused a priest of committing zoophilia and pedophilia. The townsfolk rioted and killed the priest and when they asked how he knew he did all of those actions, he didn't because he never met the poor f*cker. This tells a lot about the type of person he is.

Billy: Oh wait, he's done worse.

(Billy clears his throat.)

Billy: Murder, corruption, genocide, rape, war crimes, pedophilia, mutilation, animal cruelty, incrimination, and inhuman treatment of others.

(Bob has a look of horror on his face and attempts to shake it off after Billy is done listing his crimes.)

Bob: He's pretty much done every crime huh? Well, at least he's a fictional character.

(Billy side-eyes Bob and Bob starts panicking internally.)

Bob: Get the f*ck out of here, no way this man used to exist!

Billy: Well, kinda Bob. While he was based on a real person, the recorded actions of the real-life person make him look like a saint compared to the albino monster that is his novel counterpart.

Bob: Let's just move on.

Billy: Agreed.

Bob: Now if you're gonna do all of these heinous crimes, you have to arm yourself. Keep in mind, this is the Wild West after all, a time of outlaws and gunslingers. The Judge is armed with a rifle, Colt Dragoon Revolvers, a knife, and a Mountain Howitzer which he is strong enough to carry like a regular rifle even though it weighs a whopping 220 pounds. Jesus, is there anything this man can't do?

Billy: Keep himself away from children.

Bob: That's f*cked up but you're right. Regardless, this man has a bunch of feats related to his speed and strength. He has both brains and brawn! His feats of strength include:

• Picking up a 100-pound rock and crushing a horse's skull with it.
• Jump 12 feet into the air while carrying an anvil over his shoulders.
• Said to have carried the rock he sat on when he first met The Glanton Gang.
• Casually broke the arm of a soldier.
• Crushed a man's skull with ease with his bare hands.
• Walked through the desert without stopping or drinking for days on end while also carrying said rock he sat on.

Billy: Impressive for an average man. But oh wait, there's more! He isn't your average American after all y'know?

Bob: This guy is nowhere near average. It's like he's something otherworldly.

Billy: Speaking of otherworldly, I believe he is the devil himself!

(Bob looks at Billy skeptically.)

Bob: Is that just because he's a menace or like is he literally him?

Billy: Uhh, ever read the book Bob?

Bob: Yes, I have Billy. And when I read it, I can't f*cking tell who's talking!

(Billy rolls his eyes and throws his hands up into the air jokingly.)

Billy: I can prove he's the devil, Bob, just hear me out. First of all, he's resistant to fire as it doesn't affect him at all. Demon? Hell? Fire?

Bob: Okay so?

Billy: The second piece of evidence is that despite his large size, he can seemingly teleport. There are many times in the story where he just pops out of nowhere! The Glanton Gang themselves said that they all met Holden at least once before they all joined together.

Bob: Still not buying it.

Billy: Fine, "Lightning Round" I guess. His ability to corrupt the hearts of other people is like that concept of "the little devil on your shoulders". And there are also tales and stories of Satan himself playing a fiddle like The Judge.

Bob: That tonal clash of those comparisons made me receive the wildest piece of whiplash. But please continue, I'm intrigued.

Billy: As I was saying, he also knows everything. He knows where the gang is, he knows when they'll meet him, and let's not excuse his multiple pieces of knowledge on different fields of study. I mean for god's sake, he made gunpowder from volcanic ash and piss. But probably my biggest piece of evidence is his appearance. Pale albino skin, a baby-like face, small hands and feet compared to the rest of his large body, and eyes that are on the smaller side. He also never ages and doesn't need to eat or sleep. He's like a snake. Also, the story Paradise Falls? A story where Satan and his followers meet in the same way as The Glanton Gang and make gunpowder in a cave to fight heaven's forces or in the gunslinger's case, the Apache?

Bob: I can kinda see it but I think that Holden is just a really strong guy. Sure he has all of these parallels but I don't think he's the devil. And if you wanna get metaphorical here, I'd say he's the culmination of the worst traits of humanity. I mean, you've seen the sh*t he's done?

(Billy sighs as he crosses his arms as he has nothing more to talk about.)

Billy: Regardless of whether or not you think he's man or devil, one thing is for certain, he is one of American Literature's most evil villains.

JUDGE HOLDEN: "Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent."

Makima is in CONTROL of this DEATH BATTLE![]

Billy: Picture this, you're with your sibling outside doing a snowball fight. They suddenly run to the house to grab something. You watch them from a distance as you wait for them to return. A couple of minutes go by and they come out. They run towards you and-

Bob: A GIANT ORGANISM ARMED WITH MULTIPLE GUNS FLIES PAST YOUR HOUSE AND COMPLETELY DECIMATES YOUR FAMILY!

Billy: That "organism" was the Gun Devil, the result of the culmination of the world's fears of devils and a terrorist attack in America that involved guns.

Bob: Don't worry fellow viewer, it gets worse because there are many devils like this one. Like the Leech Devil, the Fox Devil, and the Tomato Devil? The hell?!

Billy: Funny concept aside, in the Chainsaw Man universe, a devil's power is based on how much people fear the concept they're based on in the present. For example, the Gun Devil was created and was extremely powerful because of the hysteria around guns at that time. However, something like the Tomato Devil will be weak because barely any people are afraid of tomatoes.

Bob: Honestly Billy, let's ditch this episode and interview the people afraid of tomatoes. I want to hear their backstory!

Billy: We can do that after. But for now, devils.

Bob: Ugh fine. To combat these devils, a group called the Devil Hunters was made. These ragtag individuals would risk their lives to keep the world safe. The leader of said group is the elusive and cold individual known as Makima, owner of a sh*tload of Huskies and avid movie enjoyer. God I want her to do things to me.

Billy: The f*ck? Anyways, Makima may look like some corporate shill but trust me, she is no pushover. She is capable of swordplay and hand-to-hand. She is also surprisingly strong and durable despite her only being 5'8 and having a small build. Some of these feats include:

• Could rip off the limbs and punch holes through Chainsaw Man.
• Easily decapitated Quanxi.
• Survived getting directly hit by a rocket launcher.
• Shrugged off blows from Chainsaw Man.
• Her power alone caused other countries to surrender to her and forced the US to release the Gun Devil upon her.

Bob: But where she shines the most are her abilities. There's a reason she's called the Control Devil. See, anything that she considers lesser than herself, she can take control of. For example, humans, animals, devils, fiends, and hybrids. There seems to be no limit on how many things she can control and she can hijack their senses to listen and see whatever and whenever she likes. When mind-controlled by her, you lose the memory of anything that happened immediately before they were put under control, and of anything they did while being controlled. Heck, she can even control dead bodies! To add to her many wacky abilities, any hit she takes, she'll immediately heal and that damage will transfer to a random citizen in Japan. By drinking blood, she can heal her injuries and as long as it's nearby, she can fight indefinitely. Also, her sense of smell is extremely good, to the point where she can differentiate people by scent and can spot targets 300 miles away.

Billy: But we're not done yet! Not only can she control your mind, but she can also move and control your body with telekinesis. Whether it's messing with internal organs, doing finger guns and harming you with literally nothing, or shooting nonexistent intangible chains that make it easier to control you.

Bob: Despite all of this making her look unstoppable, she has one weakness. Due to her "immortality", she becomes careless and has gained a habit of letting attacks hit her on purpose, knowing that there are few consequences. She also only remembers people and devils by their scents and not their appearances and won't bother to memorize the scents of those she views as lower than her. All of these weaknesses led to her downfall as the boy she groomed, Denji, TURNED HER ASS INTO A WHOLE DINNER. Shiiit, wonder what she tastes like?

Billy: Really Bob? You disappoint me.

(Billy shakes his hand as he slaps Bob upside the head.)

Billy: Despite her co*ckiness, she is still a force to be reckoned with. Mess with her enough, and she might turn you into her dog, or worse.

MAKIMA: "I expect 'yes' or 'woof' for answers. I don't need a dog that says 'no'."

Interlude[]

Billy: The combatants are set and all possibilities have been run through.

Bob: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!

DOORS THUD

Death Battle![]

*Pre-Fight*[]

Midnight. A woman with red hair wearing a suit and a Pancho over it is trekking through the desert. She's seen wanted posters of a mysterious man. The accounts are absurd! A seemingly average man who jumps over buildings and kills people with relative ease. She's intrigued. Lantern in hand and a hound by her side, she gives the hound a piece of the alleged cloth of the menace to sniff and the dog goes on the prowl. Scoffing slightly, she follows the hound, keeping pace with the mutt. When the mutt stops, it leads to an outhouse. Now even more intrigued, she opens the door and he sees nothing at first, only smelling the putrid sh*t of drunk cowboys. Suddenly, something runs out of the outhouse. The "thing" running out turns out to be a little girl as she collides with the red-haired woman. The little girl looks up with tears in her eyes as she scurries off. Confused, she raises the lantern towards the inside of the outhouse and she jumps a little, seeing a weird smiling pale man looking back at her.

Holden: Hello there little one. You don't seem to be from around these parts of the country.

She blinks her eyes in bewilderment, double taking but when she does this, the man is already gone. She looks around herself a bit before hearing the strangled cries and howls of her dog. She turns around and sees the large man with the decapitated head of her dog in his left hand, its twitching body thrown to the side. She was sure she saw him with his shirt off but that was the least of her worries.

Holden: Oh honey, you don't seem to know what I am. What's your name pretty lady?

With a disinterested look on her face, she replies in an eerily calm tone.

Makima: Makima, the Control Devil.

Holden: Heh, Control Devil? What an interesting moniker.

He crushes the decapitated head of the dog with relative ease before throwing the remains aside. He then walks closer to her, but she doesn't budge at all.

Holden: With a name like that, I know damn well you are not from here. If I had to guess, I'd say Japan. Am I correct?

Makima: Yes, how did you know?

The Judge frowns a little before smiling softly, wondering why she was acting so calm around him out of all people.

Holden: Oshietekudasai, naze anata wa hontōni koko ni iru nodesu ka?

Makima: No need to speak Japanese, I can understand you just fine. You must be the infamous Judge Holden yes? If so, I just have one question. Are you willing to become my dog?

The Judge raises an eyebrow and gives a hearty laugh before pulling out a knife and swiftly slicing her throat, giving her no time to react. Her body slumps to the ground as The Judge dusts himself off.

Holden: Bummer, would've made a great partner. Oh well...

Holden shrugs his shoulders sarcastically as he begins to walk away.

Makima: No need to mourn the death of your owner, dog.

Holden stops in his tracks and turns around, smiling sad*stically as he is intrigued by how she survived. And to his surprise, she is completely healed. Sure, some bloodstains on her clothes but other than that, she's standing there like nothing happened.

Makima: Now I won't ask again. Are you willing to become my dog?

The Judge stands there silently before answering. What was the Judge's answer?

*FIGHT!*[]

He pulls out his revolvers and starts blasting away at Makima which she dodges easily. Makima with an unamused look on her face, shoots chains at several random nearby drunkards and commands them to attack the albino brute. The Judge grimaces as he sees the approaching men and looks in the distance to see Makima just looking back at him, her orange eyes not moving in the slightest.

Holden immediately starts manhandling them, grabbing one and ripping off their head before using the decapitated body as a bat to hit the other drunkards away. Once the drunkards are all on the ground, he wastes no time stomping on their skulls, making brain matter splatter everywhere. Once he's done, he looks up and sees that Makima is gone. That's when he hears a whooshing sound and barely dodges the swing of a katana, the only part of him that gets cut is his jacket. He dodges her swings while walking backward, chuckling as she misses.

Holden: C'mon Makima, you can do better than that! But since I'm such a gentleman, I'll let you get one free hit on me.

Makima then stops as she strikes a stance with her katana while looking at The Judge.

Makima: You're lucky that you lasted this long against me. But I won't pass up on a free opportunity to kill you.

She throws the katana onto the ground as she does a finger gun towards him.

Makima: Bang.

Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, The Judge studies her actions. But before he can think of a plan, he gets hit square in the chest, knocking him back a couple of feet. The Judge staggers a little as he looks at his chest. Blood is streaming down but there's no bullet! How?!

Holden: Now that is something. You hit me with nothing. Got any more tricks up your sleeve?

Holden quickly pulls out his rifle and aims it towards Makima before blowing her head off. He then proceeds to empty the entire rifle into her body, making sure she is truly dead. Once the rifle is empty, he reloads it while looking at her. And to his amusem*nt, she regenerates quickly right in front of him.

Makima: Now do you have the gist of what I truly am Holden?

Holden: Yes I do actually. Won't stop me from violating you though.

Hearing this, Makima begins rubbing her hands together. Holden knows she's going to do something supernatural against him again so he shoots at Makima again but she dodges all of the shots as she jumps up onto a building to evade The Judge while also rubbing her hands. The Judge reloads before jumping on top of the building to pursue her. A long chase ensues as Makima jumps down and weaves through many people, commanding several townsfolk to attack and slow down The Judge in the process so she can finish her ritual properly.

Sick of Makima's bullsh*t, Holden uses his rifle butt and swings it around, keeping the mind-controlled townsfolk at bay. He then pulls out his knife and slashes a few of their faces and throats. Not wanting to waste his time on small fry, he jumps over the crowd and unintentionally lands on and crushes a mind-controlled kid to death.

Holden: See, that's what happens when you don't get out of the damn way!

He rushes towards Makima who is in the distance and by the time he gets to her, he sees her with a man on his knees with a bag over his head.

Holden: Now just what the hell are you doing now? Witchcraft?

Makima smiles and she looks at The Judge as she finishes rubbing his hands.

Makima: You could say that.

Suddenly, The Judge feels pain coming from the left side of his head as his left eye and the left side of his brain rupture and blow up. The Judge puts a hand over his now empty eye socket as he slumps down onto his knees. Makima chuckles as she shoots a chain, nailing The Judge right in the forehead.

Makima: Aww, looks like this dog is a little injured for him to serve me. He needs to be put down for good.

Makima does a finger gun towards The Judge's head and is about to say "Bang" when suddenly The Judge smiles and grabs her wrist before breaking it easily, making her back away a bit. The Judge smiles as he quickly gets up and grabs Makima by her neck with his right hand, choking her as he makes her dangle off of the ground.

Holden: Not so mighty now huh?

Holden pushes his thumb into her windpipe, trying to make it as painful as possible for her. But she doesn't react. In fact, she smiles back at the grinning behemoth. All of a sudden, Makima knees his chest, making Holden drop her and spit out some blood. Makima then uses this as an opportunity to unleash more blows, starting with an uppercut and then drop-kicking the giant. Judge Holden is surprised that this woman can pull off these moves and tries his best to dodge her punches and kicks. He waits for an opening but she's just too tenacious. He pulls out a knife and attempts to stab it into Makima's heart, and it actually works, at least for a bit. Makima stops attacking before taking the knife out of her chest. The Judge is genuinely pissed off and is staring daggers at Makima as she regenerates with a smug grin on her face.

Makima: Not so might no-

The Judge punches her face, cutting her off before going for a devastating gut punch that makes her fall to the floor. He then picks her up as he runs through a house, a bank, and a bar. Stunned and on the ground, Makima attempts to get up and regenerate but Holden isn't having it. He finally reveals his Howitzer Cannon as he loads it up and fires a hole through Makima's chest. Makima looks at the giant hole that's present and falls backward. If that doesn't work, I don't know what will.

Walking towards Makima, he uses the cannon as a club as he bludgeons and caves Makima's skull in.

THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.

Holden: Die already!

After a while, he stops. Has he finally done it? He leans

*K.O!*[]

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